little_self (little_self) wrote in anafriends,

Hi I'm new here :)

Been in partial recovery on my own for a couple years but never went more than 1 year without a purge. I have had anorexia and bulimia since 1999 and before that was always doing starvation diets off & on.

I just turned 39 and thought " What a great idea it would be to have a goal for when I am 40 to try to look as fabulous as possible?" My "turning 40 into fabulous" plan didn't take long to get me to start restricting and be back online looking at "Thinspiration" and clearing out my fridge and pantry.

I gave up smoking pot about 4 days ago and drinking too. I do want to drink socially but think bringing it into the house is where I tend to depend on it too much. I believe I am a borderline addict...well the ED is definitely an addiction, soooo, maybe I AM an addict! LOL
I know where some AA meetings are and printed out the schedule...IDK if I will ever have the guts to go! I have such social anxieties as it is...walking into a meeting like that all alone scares me. I have a friend in recovery who is AWESOME but I am afraid to ask her to come with me. What if I don't really want sobriety and I go back to my old ways? I don't want someone watching me all the time and making me feel guilty, etc...

Other than that I am: an actress and a seamstress & artist. I live in Los Angeles but am originally from Maine...yup I am an official "Maine-iac" lol
CW: 134 (ugh)
GW: 115 (this is the first goals of many, I am sure!)
HT: 5'3"

Nice to meet you all!
<3 little_self
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